WOW, it's been a LONG time. Been going through a lot of tough things and still am, but tonight I had a break through. Not sure where God wants me or if where I am is where I'm supposed to be or not but I do know that God loves me and I'm going through everything for a reason.
Yesterday I asked that if I wasn’t at a place where I was willing to be changed that God break me down even more than I was and change me, change all of me.. not just one or two parts. He broke me down, and I’ve gotta say.. It’s good to be here. It’s good to take a step forward because to be honest I was past taking steps back, i was turned around and running away. It’s gonna be hard to change when I’ve already gone back to so many things that have hurt me.. but I’m DONE with letting satan do this to me! I once had a vision of Jesus and I, walking by the ocean together, He is always in the same place but it’s me that keeps letting myself get pulled out to sea and turning away from Him. He’s always been there and always will be. Praying for strength to keep this up and guidance because I have NO idea what to do now that I've opened my eyes and heart.
<3
Whenever i listen to More Beautiful You or Wrap me in Your arms, I have the most beautiful daydream that anyone could ever imagine.
Jesus is carrying me along the beach as a baby, he’s spinning me around and hugging me tightly, kissing me on the forehead. He puts me down into the sand and holds my hands as i take my first steps (could be seen as my first steps in being a Christian), it keeps going on and i start growing up little by little, Jesus still holding my hand and helping me up when I fall. I get to my troubled years (or my trials), i start walking into the water, Jesus is still in the sand, holding his hand out for me to grab. Things try to get in between us but Jesus always makes his way through it and holds his hand out for me to grab. I make my way back to him, and grab it. Sometimes it becomes too much for me and he carries me, or sometimes he picks me up like when i was little and spins me around. We continue to walk together down the beach through everything, and he’s always there, Never leaving my side.